It’s been a while since I blogged. You would think during Quarantine I could find the time to write but it seems there’s always something else to do. We are in our 10th week of quarantine. It’s both frustrating and desirable to be stuck at home. I get stir-crazy and think I want to go to town so I go grocery shopping and by the time I’m done all I want is to be at home without people. C’est la vie. (How do you like that, Mom? I used my French from college!) In any case, I’m here and I’m writing. As I opened up a blank post the words of a song came to mind and I’ve learned that when that happens, I should just incorporate them and go with it. I’m sure it will only take a couple of sections (if that) for you to figure out the song. I’m assuming it must have been a favorite of the person I’m about to write about.
“When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.”
This quarantine! It’s been at times comforting, at times worrisome and there has been so much time to think! When it gets worrisome I think about my ancestors who went through difficult times and wondered how they handled various situations. One recurring thought has been that at every moment of our lives each of us is prepared/preparing for the next moment. In other words, all my life has been in preparation for this moment of quarantine. Whatever happens, we’ll make it through. And I’ve said before, the movie Aladdin has some truth in it. When Jafar said something to the effect of “It’s amazing what you can live through”- he wasn’t joking.
“And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.”
The 10 weeks of quarantine have seemed like an emotional roller coaster. Something that’s been on my mind a lot are the people that I’ve lost- what I miss about them, what I’d like to talk to them about if I could see them again, and did I say ‘how much I miss them’? Yeah. Today I was doing some cleaning upstairs, clearing out some boxes that have mostly been in storage for a while. I came across a typed letter dated January 14, 1994. I read a line. It was clearly from family. I read a couple more lines and I thought, “Man, this really sounds like Aunt Carol but I don’t remember anything that she’s talking about.” Then the letter mentioned Uncle Junior and I knew it was indeed Aunt Carol. What a blast from the past!
“And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, Let it be.”
Aunt Carol had been going through a tough time in 1994. I’d done something for her and she was writing to thank me- 3 pages worth. Isn’t that just like her? I had to laugh. No thank you card for me. Nope. I get a three page letter. I’m glad. It was an emotional trip down memory lane. She told me about some of the trouble they’d been having. She gave me news about my cousins. She talked about how much they missed us. (We’d moved to Idaho two years prior to this letter- almost two years exactly.) She talked about her work and asked when they might see us again. Rather than asking me to pray for her, she talked about how she had prayed for us. To write all this makes me realize how much I’ve missed her.
“For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see. There will be an answer, Let it be.”
On the last page she told me my grandma (“Mam”- Audrey) said hello. She (and Mam) sent me kisses and hugs. That last page. I finally lost it on that last page. When my Aunt Carol spoke to me she called me by my first AND middle name. She was the only one who did that. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital. There is no doctor that will ever convince me she did not hear and understand my final words to her: “Aunt Carol, this is Lisa Anne. I love you.” She responded and no one can tell me otherwise.
“And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, Let it be.”
Tonight is a waning crescent moon. There won’t be much light shining tonight but sometimes God gives us the precious gift of someone’s love that shines down on us. That’s the gift I got tonight. There are so many emotions and memories tied to Aunt Carol. She loved butterflies. I think of her every time I see one. She always led the worship service at the church I attended my entire childhood. She would sometimes get all my cousins and I up in front to sing a special.
We often sang In the Garden, a song I still love today.
My husband always wanted her to play I Shall Not Be Moved. That was his favorite. Our pastor at the time was Les Osburn. His granddaughter came to church with him often. She also liked that particular song as I recall.
Aunt Carol wore Avon perfume which, I’m assuming, she bought from my Mam (her mom). I believe the perfume was Sand & Pearls or maybe Pearls & Lace? She and Mam both wore it. I liked the perfume but if you got in a car with both of them to go to town the smell was overwhelming! I can laugh about it now but at the time, driving from Southwest City to Grove was excruciating sometimes!
“I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.”
Tomorrow I’ll wake up, Lord willing, and it’ll be a new day and no matter who I’ve lost, I’ll carry on until the Lord decides my time is up. In the meantime, it’s such a treasure to find memories like this. They help keep me going. Maybe tomorrow I’ll write a letter to someone. I’d hate to think that years down the road we won’t have letters to look at anymore because all our writing is digital now. Some traditions need to be kept alive. If not now, when? If not me, who? Maybe tomorrow…
“Let it be, yeah, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, oh let it be. There will be an answer. Let it be.”
Until next time – Let it be.
Lisa @ Days of Our Lives