This week our daughter-in-law, Melissa, celebrates her anniversary. I hope she and our son-in-law Ryan enjoy their day!
Melissa and my son Derek married in April of 2011. They were married about 16 months before Derek died. The months following were some hard months with lots of time spent in prayer for Melissa and our grandson. We felt like she was too young to remain unmarried and we wanted for her to have someone who would love both her and our grandson. Bart and I spent a lot of time in prayer about that. We had a lot of requirements for this new husband. He had to love both Melissa and our grandson and treat them well. We hoped he would be someone who would allow us to remain in our grandson’s life but we – or at least I – braced for the possibility that the new husband wouldn’t want us to be involved. Now, looking back on that time, there were so many things I wanted that I didn’t even know I wanted during that time. God, however, knew exactly what we wanted and needed and that’s what we continued to pray for – God’s will above all else – even if it meant we didn’t get what we wanted. Only God knew what was best for Melissa and our grandson.
Above, at Derek and Melissa’s wedding; April, 2011.
Eventually the time came that we were introduced to her current husband, Ryan. I realized after that initial meeting that we had already met Ryan. He was a friend of Derek’s during Derek’s college years. When our grandson spent about 6 weeks in the hospital in Dallas after he was born, Ryan was one of many who cooked us meals and served us so we didn’t have to leave the hospital. He’d been such a good friend and shown the love of Christ at a time when we needed it. This time though, we were meeting him as a potential husband to Melissa and father to our grandson. He didn’t have children of his own when he dated Melissa so I’m sure it was quite an adjustment to learn to care for a rambunctious 2-year-old boy.
Ryan and Melissa married in April of 2014. At their wedding, Ryan’s mother said that after Ryan had started dating Melissa, Ryan had come to visit her and he told her, “I love them.” Meaning he loved both Melissa and our grandson. This is one of many things I love about Ryan. He recognized Melissa and our grandson as a “package deal” so to speak. He didn’t try to have Melissa without her child. He accepted and loved them both, just as we had prayed for. But that wasn’t all. God didn’t just take care of Melissa and our grandson when He gave her a new husband. He took care of Bart and I, too- in so many ways. God gave us a son-in-law who has his own memories of Derek and who was Derek’s friend before he ever met Melissa. God gave us a son-in-law who wanted us to be a part of their lives and that means so much. I’m not sure I could have handled losing both Derek and his son. Ryan doesn’t mind when our conversations turn to Derek. He doesn’t feel threatened or jealous and that means a lot to us. Ryan and Melissa are also making sure that our grandson knows he has two dads. He lost one dad, but God gave him another. I appreciate that our grandson will always know how proud my son was of his son and how much Derek loved him. Ryan and Melissa have a son now, too. We are so proud to be grandparents to both of these little guys.
Above, Ryan and Melissa’s wedding; April, 2014.
My son’s son and my daughter’s son dancing at Ryan and Melissa’s wedding; April, 2014.
Derek’s son kissing his dad Ryan back when Ryan and Melissa were engaged.
Derek and Melissa and their son; February 2012.
Bart and I with the three grandsons we had at the time and our daughter; taken at Ryan and Melissa’s wedding, April of 2014.
My son’s son and his brother.
Ryan is dad to both of these boys. He does a great job. Both Ryan and Melissa do a great job raising our two Texas grandsons. It still amazes me how well God took care of us when he brought Ryan into our lives. I just wanted to take this post to wish Ryan and Melissa a happy anniversary. I hope they have many more years to celebrate together.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, 6-8, The Holy Bible:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…a time to seek, and a time to lose…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love…
All my love,
Lisa @ Days of Our Lives blog